My wife asked me to pray for her the other night and I could not find the words to express out loud and so I focused inward. I let my heart pour out to God everything that I was feeling. I am always surprised when I go to God this way. I never know what will come up.
The Holy Spirit interprets for us. So even when you don't have the words he will make your petitions known to God. I am always awed by what comes up into my mind when I do this. I don't banish this as a product of a random mind like I used to do. I see now that these things need to be addressed so that my prayers are not hindered.
I laid many things at God's feet. I asked Him to forgive me of the mistakes that I have made. The one that stood out to me was a statement that I made to my father. When Prv31 was in a bible study at our new church he commented that she was with her boyfriend. I told him that the only man that I have to be worried about is Jesus Christ.
He let it go there but I continued rolling that around in my mind. I heard my mind say, "If she gave me half the energy/passion/emotion that she gave to God...". I cut myself off there. First of all, I don't deserve anything that rightfully belongs to Christ. Secondly I know that what she gives to God has nothing to do with me. She devotes her time and energy to the God who has done so much for her.
I really examined what was really bothering me and I learned something surprising. I was not bothered by the time she spent with God. I was jealous of the richness of her relationship with Him. I desire to be in His presence just as she is but because of my own mistakes/lack of priorities/stupidity I have not sought Him. She however is always with Him. I remember a time when my relationship with Him was like that.
A minister friend of mine asked a question once, "If God seems far away, who moved?" At that moment I was convicted in my spirit. I laid all of this at the Master's feet and then I was able to pray for my wife.
I laid out how God had blessed her with health, strength, a sound mind, a loving family, and joyous relationships. I thanked Him for most importantly blessing their relationship. That she would continue to hunger and thirst after Him. I asked that he would put a hedge around their relationship and protect it from anything that would try to come between them. I claimed clarity of thought, intent and action.
I asked God to bring me back into His presence. I felt Him with me as I prayed.
When I was finished praying my wife asked me why I had not prayed aloud. I don't remember my response but if I had prayed out loud it would not have been sincere. I want to always be sincere when I petition for my wife and family.
Keep praying for me. I am a work in progress.
God's man