I used to enjoy peace and quiet. Give me a server closet with no windows and I was a happy camper. I get incredible pleasure out of quietly reading or writing. I often look for opportunities to get quite time for myself. It is near to impossible to find quiet time now. With 3 women in my house, 2 little and 1 big, there is lots of noise. It is funny how God arranges things in our lives to spark growth.
I have learned that often God often uses the noise of life to speak clearly to us. I have spoken on this passage 1 Kings 19:11-14:
Then he was told, "Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by."
A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.
When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there. A quiet voice asked, "So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?" Elijah said it again, "I've been working my heart out for God, the God-of-the-Angel-Armies, because the people of Israel have abandoned your covenant, destroyed your places of worship, and murdered your prophets. I'm the only one left, and now they're trying to kill me."My life right is so full right now. Like it is any different for any of you. But back to me. With so many things vying for my attention, family, church, work, even my own desires, I was finding it hard to quiet myself to hear from God. Everytime I tried to pray I was drawn up into a whirlwind of thoughts, seemingly conflicting demands, and other stuff. I was having difficulty hearing. The noise was deafening.
It all came to a head yesterday. Over something incredibly small. At least small by comparison. I ended up lashing out at the one closet to me, my beautiful bride. She should not have been the recipient of it and even when in the midst of my rant I realized it.
Later as I lay in bed I found it hard to pray and it was there that I heard God. Of all the places for him to find me. In a mess of regret, pain, and frustration. It was there that He showed up. I started unloading on Him. All my pain. All my anguish. Everything that had been driving me crazy.
He held me as I felt lost and directionless. He knew what I needed most of all. Just to know that He was there. Later that night, after my wife had come to bed and fallen asleep I found myself reaching out for her. I hoped that I had not damaged our amazing relationship.
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"- Matthew 6:27
I need not have worried. My bride was understanding and forgave me. God is so good. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
Enjoy the Superbowl if you are watching it.
-God's Man