This took place in 2001 in Tallahassee, FL. It was very early in the morning and my Queen, Still a Princess, and were having a seemingly normal conversation. Honestly I could not tell you what we were talking about. All I can remember is the battle that was happening inside of me. The queen and I had been dating for about 2 years at that point. Our relationship was long distance one at that point. I was living in Oakland, CA and she was in FL finishing her degree.
This was going to be our last night for a while as cross country travel was not cheap. I was a bundle of nerves and emotions. As we had this conversation I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I was trying to keep my hands from sweating since we were holding hands at the time. The conversation was starting to wane as it was late and we were both tired at that point. I kept trying to tell her but I just couldn't Something was holding me back.
I was worried! Me worry? I never worry, but the more I started to say the words the more the consequences flash in front of my mind. I wanted to tell her but what if? What if I lose my job? What if I never make it? What if my 10 year plan falls apart? As I tried to figure out where all of this was coming from I started to hear a voice telling me to wait. This isn't the righ moment. It isn't perfect enough. The mood isn't right, the lighting is all wrong, you guys are too tired. Wait until next time.
A question pulled me back into the moment, "What is wrong?" I looked at her and really saw her. I saw all the worries melt away. I felt all the hesitation disappear. I slipped down off the bed and onto one knee.
I said to my Queen, "I can't promise you riches but I can promise to always make you happy. Will you marry me?"
So there you have it. A moment