30 Day Trial Day 8 | Think Different...

Welcome to Day 9 - Time to Think Differently   As most of my friends know I am first and foremost a nerd and secondly I am an apple snob.  I didn't start out this way.  I was an equal opportunity nerd.  I loved them in all OS flavors, IBM-DOS, PC-DOS, MS-DOS, Windows, UNIX, Linux and yes my beloved MacOS which I like to call candy coated goodness.  Many OS have tried to replicate that look but none have succeeded, in my opinion, and for me they never will.  Now I am not one of those guys that sits in starbucks and looks down his nose at people using PC's however I do take great joy in the Blue Screens of fallen Windows computers.  So why do I start today's message with this overly nerdy and pointless introduction?  Because I can.   So for me today I am looking at 3 tasks in my quest to become the person that I would want to spend the rest of my life with.   Start Anew Have you ever wanted a do over?  Remember those from when you were a kid?  When you would play baseball, or tag, or hide and go seek or just about any game that kids can play.  So there you are at that critical moment when your next action (Swing, sprint, throw) could decide between victory or defeat.  Anticipation is driving you crazy and THEN... you miss (strike out, miss the catch, get caught).  BUT WAIT you still have your do-over.  The mighty do-over would allow you to try it again.  You can reset the situation and be free to do something different.  Do you remember that?  Can you get a do over in life?  Is it possible to go back and change what has already occurred???  Fortunately there are no time machines, or resulting time paradoxes.  However there is something that you can do right now that will help you overcome the things that have taken place in your past.  You can stop giving them power in the present moment.   Just because something happened to you in the past doesn't mean that you cannot make it now.  Just because someone broke your heart doesn't mean that you cannot have good relationships now.  Just because you broke someone's heart doesn't mean that you are doomed.  Now is the time to decide who you are and who you will be going forward.  Who you were 5 minutes ago does not have to be who you are right now.  You shape your responses, your actions and your thoughts.  You must gain control over those things.  So what did I do towards this goal today.  I realized as I focused on this that I categorize people based on their past performances.  While this is sometimes a good exercise it means that I can miss when people are trying to make a legitimate change.  My thoughts will be that they will perform the same as they always have and so I will leave them out for things.  SO I am starting anew first in how I respond to my bride.  I will not allow her past actions to shape my responses to her.  I will continue to dwell in understanding of her but I must allow for growth in the areas that she is working on.   Attend Church This is one of the items that I initially looked at and said "CHECK!"  I very rarely miss church.  I love my worship time.  It doesn't matter what we are doing, we are going to church.  I remember when I was taking IV antibiotics at home we drove to church with all the equipment and I took my medicine in the back of the sanctuary.  If I miss church it often leads frustration later in my week.  The reason that I took a step back on this one was because I began to wonder if I attuned because I wanted too be there or because it was expected?  As far as this task is concerned I am calling it complete.  God is real and I want to be wherever He is and church is one of those places.  If you are in Anne Arundel county and are looking for a great church.  http://livinghopechurch.info  or http://doyoubelong.org.   Why Not? This is one of my favorite questions.  We are creating of society where there is a continuous cry of WHY ME!  Why did this happen to me?  Why didn't she/he stay?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  Well you can see what my response to such question are, WHY NOT!  Why not let that happen to you?  Would you have it happen to someone else?  How would you decide who it would happen too?  Why not accept the fact that this person was not right for you?  Why not bite the bullet and start the 30 Day Trial Challenge?  Why not tell your spouse what you want?  Look at your life and identify when you ask the question, What can I do better next time.  When you do that you take more control over your outcomes.  For me I looked at why I have not been getting some things that I want in my life.  The reason is not any of the excuses that I have used, my insight into people, my need to not ruffle feathers or cause discomfort.  The reason is because I do not ask for what I want.  This hit me like a ton of bricks this morning.  I tell people all the time to speak up.  I remind them that no one will give you what you don't ask for and yet here I am pining away hoping that this will just happen.  That ends today!  Do I expect to get everything I ask for?  Of course not.  However those who can help me will know what I need.   So for the rest of my trials,  once again I did not stick to my cash only plan.  I think from tomorrow on I will be leaving my debit card at home.  I thought that I had build the cash habit but I am not there yet.  I have had meetings scheduled during my lunch time workouts so I have been going up and down ladders and pulling wires as exercise.  I will be doing that again tonight.  So how are you doing on your trials?   Congratulations to Marlen of http://hallfamilyinmaryland.blogspot.com for winning our gift card challenge yesterday.  She was the only person who picked one of my bolded tasks and mentioned how she is implementing that in her life.  This is her second 30 Day Trial Challenge and he second win.  I have 2 gift cards for her since I owed her one from the last challenge.   Go Go GO!